Thank god she’s still sleeping.
I look down at my beautiful wife, the shock and pain of the past 24 hours still evident on her worry lined face that even sleep hasn’t erased. She’s so beautiful and she’s mine and I will, to my dying day, never let anyone hurt her. I really want to touch her, to stroke her hair and soothe away both her worries and mine but I know as soon as I do she’ll wake up and remember and the pain will begin again.
The air is still and calm in our bedroom, the dogs snoring lightly at the foot of the bed. Her hair shines pale blue in the moonlight that has filtered through a chink in the curtains.
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I knew as soon as I met her that she was the one, it was just a pity I had to get her really drunk in order to marry her but then we had only known each other for about seven hours at that point. It took a lot of greasing palms and one hell of a lot of paperwork but we were married again exactly one month after the first time and everyone turned up. Hell I always seem to get married in little chapels off the main strip in Vegas, it was refreshing to say our vows to each other in front of our friends and family.
Pippa was Jilly’s maid of honour and Richie was my best man, not only cause they’re our closest friends and family but hell, they’re dating each other and it seemed the right thing to do. Especially after Richie threatened to bust my ass if anyone but him got to dance with Pip. They make a great couple, tempestuous and fiery but great together. I’m so glad he’s finally found someone to be happy with.
It was a great day but still feels like a poor substitute for that moment in time when you know you’re going to be with this person, your soul mate, for the rest of your life. Just one moment, one clarity of thought and the rest of the world doesn’t matter. You’re where you’re supposed to be with the person you’re supposed to be with , doing what you’re supposed to be doing and everything else pales in comparison.
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I love watching her sleep. Ya know I am so not a morning person but I’ve woken up every morning since we met just to watch her sleep. It’s peaceful and I can spend my time just drinking her in. My note books that stay by the bed at all times are just full of lyrics about her, most will never see the light of day, even Richie thinks they’re too sappy and he’s the biggest sap going!, but a few may be worked into songs. She’s the most wonderful person I have ever met, she gives me so much and takes so little. She stands behind me ready to catch me if I fall and to be caught in her arms I would risk falling now and again.
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My friends thought I was mad to have married someone I’d just met, especially with all the hassle with immigration that we’d have to go through but I didn’t care.
I remember when she came walking into the restaurant, Richie nudged me and said something about a tall redhead but I only had eyes for the short blonde next to her. We’d gotten to the restaurant a little early when Jilly first walked into my life and lodged in my heart. Objectively, she’s not conventionally beautiful, her nose has a bump on it that detracts from a flawless side profile and when she smiles her mouth opens a little too wide - after working in the entertainment business for 20 odd years I notice these things. It’s sad but true. When the unemployment rate for actors is about 90% at any one time we’re constantly on the look out for imperfections. Everyone does it. From the casting couch to the housewife buying National Enquirer. Everyone looks for the flaws and no one looks at the person. Jilly was the first person, I’m ashamed to say, in whom these imperfections didn’t matter. She’s extremely attractive, beautiful to me, and such a warm and loving person that everyone who’s met her has fallen for her: my band family, the crew, my parents, even my children and they’re the fussiest people I know. Dot’s still reserved but then hell if she wasn’t we’d probably still be married.
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God I wish she’d wake up, so I can hold her and touch her and tell her how much I love her before I show her how much I love her. The past 2 days have been an absolute nightmare for me, god knows what they were like for her.
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My kids chose to stay with their mom after the divorce so it really didn’t matter where Jilly and I moved to. Pip had moved in with Richie, then moved out then back in again, in LA so we decided to spend some time in California before deciding where to put down roots and when she told me she’d seen him I didn’t believe her. We’d only been married for 2 months and I guess I thought it was her guilt over dumping him on the phone that was making her see him everywhere. Even when the phone calls started I still didn’t believe it was him. You know those nuisance calls you get when you pick the phone up and have to wait to be connected to a sales person who is trying to sell you some long distance call saver package from AT & T or Bell.
I didn’t take any notice at first, mainly cause I was in the studio during the day with Rich and the guys and was rarely home before 10pm most nights. I know it sounds like I’ve been leaving my new bride alone but Pippa was over most days. I told Jilly to leave the ansaphone on and if I needed to call her I’d call her mobile. This seemed to do the trick until one night I was home early, as Richie had promised to be home early for Pippa or he was gonna be divorced before he was even married I think were her exact words. Anyway we got 5 calls in a row, just silence and then the faint disconnect sound. I called the police but even as I was explaining the situation it sounded silly. A few random sightings of someone who may have been him plus a few nuisance calls that may or may not have been the telephone calls. The police were sympathetic but explained that as I had no real proof that it was this guy that there was nothing they could do, except sent a car round our area regularly.
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Jilly shifts in her sleep, the quilt has slipped sideways, her perfect breasts exposed to the cool night air. Sighing I replace the quilt to keep her warm and she murmurs and smiles, still fast asleep. I know I’ve sung about it but I really would die for this woman, though, hopefully, I’ll never have to.
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We changed the phone number and for a while things got better. She wouldn’t jump every time the phone rang and she had her old sparkle back.
Then she started to see him everywhere. Jilly isn’t used to being in the Jovi Family and is more used to going shopping by herself instead of with someone. I tried to get her to take Pippa but it seems that Pip and Rich have another thing in common, both hate waking up before midday, so Jilly would quite often go by herself. As I was usually in the recording studio by 9.30 I didn’t know this. She would be out food shopping, look over at the queue and see him staring at her then when she’d look back there’d be no-one there. I didn’t really know what he looked like as all she had when she’d first come over was a small snapshot in her wallet, I mean her purse. It’s so silly, her wallet is her purse and her purse is her bag. God, the language barrier of those who speak English. There was one time when she asked me whether she should wear pants under her trousers and I just stared at her dumbfounded, wondering how in the name of all things holy she was going to be able to get two pairs of trousers on, then I realised she meant panties. Well in the end she didn’t even get to put her panties on before we had to shower…again.
The phone calls started again when I went into the studio properly with the whole band to start laying down tracks, and had to leave early in the morning and rarely got home before midnight. Some nights not at all. She was scared I know but short of having her in the studio, which would’ve distracted me to no end, there was no way around it, plus we lived in a gated house so she should’ve been safe. A week after I started laying down tracks it seemed that she must have been mistaken as the calls and sightings just stopped. I know the guys were relieved as a few times we’d be in the middle of something crucial and my mobile would go off. After this I started putting it on silent, I know this upset Jilly but I thought she was just being silly, alone in the huge house by herself. I thought she was jumping at shadows.
Until I got that call.
My phone rang in the middle of Richie laying down some guitar tracks and Tico went to grab it. I got there first and went to turn it off. I stopped as I saw who it was from.
“Jon!! Come home, Greg’s outside and he’s trying to get in. Oh Jon I’m so scared, please!” I could hear the terror in her voice.
“Hey honey calm down, what do you mean he’s outside?” I asked, worried.
“I opened the gates for the postman but it was him. I didn’t realise until I opened the front door, I managed to shut it but he’s outside.” her voice quavered with unshed tears.
“Have you called the cops?” I asked, knowing she hadn’t.
“No I wanted to speak to you.”
“Jilly, listen, get off the phone and then call 911, I’m leaving now. Ok?”
The sound of glass breaking. It will haunt me forever. Then Jilly was screaming down the phone before a dull thud then the sound of the phone being placed back on the receiver.
I stood, staring blindly at the dial tone coming from the phone, utterly paralysed with fear. Richie and the guys just looked at me. As quickly as it had come over me it vanished and I raced out of the studio, leaving the guys staring after me. The studio I had chosen to work in was only 10 minutes by car from our house but that day it seemed to take forever. I dialled 911 as I sprinted towards my car, praying no one would see me and try to hold me up. The last thing I needed was any of the paparazzi to get wind of this and follow me.
Finally I reached my car and gunned it into action leaving trailing marks as I screeched out of the car park. All I could think of was Jilly. If he hurt her I would kill him.
The police were already there when I got home, surrounding our once safe home. As I pulled up I noticed a SWAT team which could mean only one thing. Greg had a gun. My heart stopped. I know it did, I was there.
Somehow I managed to find the man in charge and explained who I was. Apparently the real postman had turned up and hearing screaming, had called the cops before I had. All I could do was stand behind the barrier, outside our gates and feel useless. I had been in control of my life since I was about 18 years old and to find I could do nothing when the life of the one person I loved most hung in the balance was almost too much. My Jilly, my love, was trapped inside our house with her ex, who, by al intents, was going to kill them both and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do.
Richie had, at this point, turned up with Pippa and they two stood beside me as the minutes ticked by. I know I was getting on the nerves of the man in charge but I couldn’t help myself, I was more nervous and full of energy than before any show. I felt impotent as I could only watch as someone called through a loud speaker, asking for Greg Edwards, for that was his full name, to put the gun down and hand himself in. The cops had been on the phone to their English counterparts who in turn had contacted Greg’s parents and had discovered that he had suffered from paranoia when he was a child and various other mental illnesses. The pain and violence had always been there, Jilly dumping him had broken the dam that kept them in and he was out for revenge.
Gunshot.
The most heartbreaking sound you could ever hear. I gripped Richie’s arm so tight I bruised him as the cops rushed our house, all thoughts of decorum long gone. I heard a howl of anguish and realised it was me. Tears poured down my face when I saw her being carried out, her arms wrapped tight around a policeman.
Run legs damn you.
I sped, stumbled and limped my way over to her and hugged her for all I was worth. We wept in each others arms, unable to let the other go, even as Greg’s body was carried past us on a mortuary stretcher. Single gunshot wound to the head was the cause of death.
He hadn’t wanted to harm her, not physically anyway. He’d wanted her to know what she had done to him before he’d killed himself in front of her. He was a very mentally sick man but I do feel for him. To be carrying that amount of pain around inside with no outlet for it is no way for anyone to live.
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Oh the dogs are awake.
Vinnie, the greyhound, stretches languorously on the end of our kingsized bed, with Eejit, the whippet, stretched out between his legs. Both are rescue dogs and adore both each other and Jilly. Me? They just tolerate me cause Jilly loves me but I think they prefer it when I’m not there. They’ll be wanting to be let out soon. Oh to hell with that, I ain’t leaving her till she’s awake.
Talk of the devil
“Morning wife.”
“Morning husband.” she whispers, mid yawn, “Have the dogs been walked yet?”
“No, I didn’t want to leave until you woke up.” I smile down at her, loving her even more than I did ten minutes ago.
“Well I’m awake now. Jon, I’m fine and I’m going to be fine, so there’s no need to worry. In fact all 3 of us will be fine.”
“All 3?..” confusion takes a hike as realisation puts the boot in.
“Morning Daddy.” she grins, reaching up for a kiss
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